I notice everything, I just act like I don't...

Assalamualaikum readers....

yeah..long time no see...

I'm just feeling not well recently...
I've to think twice if I wanna go out and grab  something to eat....
I don't really have a lot of money that can ensure will stay safely in my purse until this 28th...

it's hard because every new semester come, there will always be a problem with my loan...
Well....it should be in my bimb since the first week of my new semester.

Nevermind....

Let's say..if today I'm having my rameen so tomorrow nasi bujang will be my great dinner since I just eat once a day.

Yupp..Sometimes it's hurt deep inside being like this...but I keep telling myself...my situation is nothing to compare with others...somebody might drink a milk from a dog today....but anybody cares? No one !!!

then I told myself....

Just smile..Allah with me and He will never leave me alone even my own friends did that to me....Allah will never burdening His servant with a big difficulties that we can't take it...As my mom said....I have her... she still alive so don't worry cause herself will keep supporting me...

There's a bunch of people keep judging my life....they love to talk at my back....keep complaining and comparing their life with my life..

I notice everything, I just act like I don't...

and one more thing that really frustrating enough was..

Why she keep doing this to me....????

We never talk until she wanna something from me....am I a doll...? Am I your 'taik idung'?

The other friend already told me that you will keep doing this...but I wouldn't care because I thought this time you really appreciate what ive done....I don't need your thank you or anything but i i want you to remember me not even in your difficulties but in your everyday life...

How could you did this..

you find if you want then you leave after you've done.

I notice everything, I just act like I don't...

I don't wanna cry for this...you are absolutely not worth to it.

please....stop torturing my feeling....stop find me in your complicated situation...stop leaving me....stop using me....

could we be like before....?

I don't hate you for using me for your own....I just felt so sad cause why we end up like this....

you just text me if you want me as if there's no one with you.

stop doing that...I'm tired of this fake relationship...please im begging you lets be a good friend in the future....I wanna start all over....I don't wanna feel horrible if my family asking about my friends..

I will wait for you to see how much I love you and I hope our childhood memory will bring our happiness back....like before.


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*the moment that you want someone to read this and hopefully they will understand your feeling and you will get back....but unfortunately there's somebody else that put their ownself to be the characters in my entry...it is frustrating.