Wednesday, 1 January 2014


Hi guys, this is a really really random and emotional post so you don't have to read this. I just need to let some of my feelings out.

There's this constant pattern in my life which I've just noticed. There will be a person (no matter it's a girl or a boy) that will get to know me and I'll be comfortable enough with them and have the need to talk with them 24/7 and I'll be very mad when someone else trying to be close with them. I feel angry because I know they are capable of taking him/her away from me, like they are more fun to be around with more than me. Yes, I'm a very jealous person, no matter if it's a guy or a girl (no homo though). And the more I spend time with my new "close friend", I feel like I'm being annoying you know like I want to spend time with them ALL THE TIME. I want to talk to them, I want to see them, I want to tweet them and blablabla. And I feel like they're getting irritated by me you know but they kept it to themselves because I feel like they don't want to hurt my feelings. And I noticed how they laugh more and be more happy with their other friends than me. And I'll get mad. And they'll think I'm annoying because I'm so over-protective and I don't want them to talk to anyone else. I have a lot of best friends before when I was 14 until now, and my past best friends, well let's just say we're not more than acquaintance now. I noticed that they are annoyed by me. And they always have fun without me. It's like I can't make them happy and I'm not a good friend. And then, they will step back very slowly without me noticing and then we just stop talking just like that *snaps finger* I just want to say sorry that I'm not the friend you expect me to be. I just hope one day I will find someone who will stick around for a very long time :(

cc: Asyura Alya

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